December 30, 2007

happy pseudo-anniversary to me!

Today is our second anniversary. *sigh.

Technically, we've been married over two years, but whatever. Two years ago tonight was our wedding with friends and family and food and flowers.

Although I received beautiful flowers, I woke up alone...on my anniversary. And as much as I can tell myself that is ok, it's really not. I mean, really. It's not. But I choose to be happy anyway.

In honor of my second anniversary, I have "composed" a poem. Wanna hear it? Hear it go.

For Aaron, my sweet boy. My muse ;)

Two years ago today....

Two years ago today I wore a wedding dress and you kissed me with your hands on my face.
Two years ago today you tried desperately not to step on my dress...but did anyway.
Two years ago today I caught you tearing up while watching the wedding slide show.
Two years ago today your Dad was overseas and was not able to be at our wedding.
Two years ago today your uncle Billy proved what an amazing man he was by showing up to the ceremony in your father's place.
Two years ago today you danced the "Thriller" by yourself in front of about 75 people.
Two years ago today two of our best friends found each other when they weren't even looking.
Two years ago today I made the best decision of my life.

I love Aaron more today than I could have ever imagined. When I think about his smile and the way his hand feels in mine, I tear up, even after all this time. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like him. Since the moment we first saw each other, he has put me on a pedestal. And for a long time, I fought being up there because I thought, surely, things would change. Well, they haven't. I am still his number one everything and he makes me feel how I imagine a newborn baby feels wrapped up in a blanket: secure, warm, loved, protected, adored, in the hands of God, at complete peace with the world. And there is no better feeling.

So today I thank him for the best two years of my life. I can't wait for 100 more.

We'd look good with kids, wouldn't we?
I love how he's looking at me in this picture.
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Webb!
P.S. I never realized how HUGE that bouquet was! Geez!

December 28, 2007

i have too much.

I just got done eating dinner and wiping my eyes after crying over a tuna sandwich and broccoli cheese soup.

A seemingly meaningless day has turned into one of the most wonderful days I have had in a long time. This is the post you were waiting for, no?

I got a call this morning from our vet telling me that Texas had thrown up twice. Not a big shocker since he does that a lot at home. I told the vet to schedule us an appointment this afternoon since I'd be there to pick him up from the kennel anyway.

On my way out of the door, my neighbor, Joan, stopped me and gave me a Christmas gift: beautiful hand-made coasters! She painted them and everything!! They are so beautiful and match my living room decor perfectly.

Afterward, I went to the gym to run 5K. Uhm, yeah. I knew it was going to be horrible, but at least I did it. I really have never been a runner. I've also never enjoyed running, so this was a challenge. My weak-ass time was 39:56...but, I did it. And I didn't quit as I'm normally guilty of and that alone made me feel really good.

After the gym, I went to the vet where I talked to the doctor for a good while about my pup. He's going to be on meds for the next two weeks to knock out what we think is the problem - he either has whip worm (sp??) or he may have an inflamed/ulcer-like tummy. I have to give him meds out of a syringe (orally) for the next five days and then also give him pills for the next two weeks. Ugh. But at least he's ok.

After the vet, I went to the tanning salon and then to Wal-Mart to buy groceries. Where does the good day kick in? Right now.

When I got home from Wal-Mart and was unloading the truck, a box caught my eye on my front porch...a box from 1-800-Flowers. My jaw dropped.

I opened the card and it said, "Hello there, my love. Two years ago we embarked on our great journey together and I've never been happier or more complete. I love you more than anything. Happy anniversary, sweetheart." Then I fought the urge to open the box until after the groceries were put away. I hurriedly tossed the cheese and tuna and whatever else into its proper place and opened my box...12 red roses and 6 white calla lillies.
What's the most amazing about this gift from Aaron is that he not only remembered our anniversary (which is the 30th), but that he sent me a gift (from Iraq!) on the anniversary that we typically don't celebrate. See, he and I were married twice. Once on June 24, 2005 and then in the church on December 30, 2005. We normally swap gifts on the June date, so these flowers are ultra special to me. What an amazing husband I have. There are no words to express how he made me feel with this simple gesture. I just can't even come up with anything to say. My heart is so full.

Then immediately afterward, I sat down to read my email and on a whim, I checked my spam folder and what to my wandering eyes did appear: an email announcing my test scores for the elementary test. I closed my eyes as the page loaded and opened them slowly, peeking out from behind my fingers that were blocking my vision...I noticed the screen was blue. "Blue means passing, right?," I wondered.

RIGHT!!! I passed!!! And not only did I pass, I killed that test! Murdered it! I got a 272 out of 300! I'm sure you elementary teachers got higher scores than I did, but holy cow!!!!

As soon as I saw the score, I couldn't contain it any more. I just cried and smiled and cried and threw kisses up into the sky to the God who loves me. It was then that I said out loud, "I have too much." I shook my head in amazement, looked around my beautiful house, and cried some more. I have too much. I have a husband who is so good to me that sometimes I wonder where he's hiding his wings, a house that keeps me warm and comfortable, a dog who has become one of my dearest buddies, friends who would do anything for me even without being asked, parents who adore me, and finances that cover all bills with plenty to spare.

I can't believe I've been blessed the way I've been blessed. My heart is so full right now and although Aaron is still gone and life is dreary, little things, these amazing little blessings and gifts along the way, have made today one of the best days of my life.

I have never been more thankful.

kelly's coming!

My wonderful friend Kelly is coming to visit! I am so excited! She gets here on New Year's Eve and will stay for about five days. Yesssssssss! Now I can buy groceries and clean the house for an actual purpose. Woohoo! Her husband (Chad) is also deployed right now. He and Aaron get back at the same time, so she and I are in the same boat. Boo.

P.S. Kelly is the one who met her husband at my wedding. So cute! She married one of my husband's best friends. Crazy how life turns out.

The night they met at my rehearsal dinner. See 'em in the background?
Kelly and her Chad:
Kelly is the second bridesmaid from me and Chad is the second groomsmen from Aaron. So stinkin' cute I can't stand it!
And I posted this just because this makes me happy. I mean, wouldn't your husband taking off your leg garter with his teeth make you happy, too? (That and my boobs look fabulous in this picture. Haha!)

and I love him more.

Yup, checked the crossfit website again. This is what I found:

26 yo male 182lbs

Did Barbara with a couple of buddies. (LoL, by the way, Barbara is the name of the workout, not some chic, ok?)

1. 3:07
2. 3:46
3, 4, and 5 were skipped due to pukie. maybe next time we'll get finished.

Love you Cassie baby.

Comment #129 - Posted by Webb on December 27, 2007 10:27 AM

It's so great to see your own name and the word "pukie" in the same message. Man, I love this guy. :)

no piggie for me.

Fine. I won't get a pig. Geez.

But I really want one...

Ok, I'm done now. I do hereby relinquish all dreams of owning a little oinker.

December 26, 2007


I changed my mind about the other blog today. I'm afraid that if I continue to post my Pulitzer-Prize-worthy writing, someone might steal it.

Ok, so my writing really never won any Pulitzer Prizes, but none the less, I don't have a trademark or a registration assigned to any of this work, so why risk the chance of someone taking it and making it their own? Or manipulating it and making me look like a fool?

Looks like My Cup will remain my only blog...and I kind of like that.

exodus to writerdom

I have been contemplating the notion of creating a second blog, a more serious one. I am finding the longer I live, that the only true "job" that I have passion for is writing. I think I was always meant to sit at a desk and write, write, write.

The more I dwell on this idea, the more I believe that if I am truly going to start this exodus to "writerdom," then I have to start doing something about it.

I really want to publish a book, be a book writer, a novelist. I really want to be a columnist for a newspaper or magazine, too, but one only gets that chance after one pays their "reporting dues" and I hate reporting. It's so dull. Who, what, when, and where interests me at about the same level as a hole in my head.

So, I've decided that I am going to start a blog of more serious writing. You've seen some on this blog already (Sheryl Pollock, etc.) but I want the other blog to be completely devoted to things of that nature. My dream is that one day I could compile stories and get them published in a book...Through the Eyes of a Nobody...or something like that. I still plan on keeping My Cup, though, for things like pot-belly pigs and husbands and pictures of friends in ugly Christmas sweaters. Rest assured, this blog is not going anywhere!

So, I am off to create my other blog now. I'll post a link to it once it's ready.

December 25, 2007

pot-belly piggie.

Make sure you don't miss all my other posts down below...I've been a bloggin' fool this afternoon (Mom and Dad have morphed into a comatose state...too much excitement, I guess).

Ok, so I really want a pig. I'm dead serious. I asked Aaron earlier if we could get one, and this is the conversation that followed:
Aaron: Why would you want a pig?! What would we do with it?!

Me: Love it!

Aaron: *Pause*

Me: What would happen if you came home from your deployment and I had a little piggie at our house?

Aaron: We'd have bacon for dinner.

LOL! But how can you so no to this precious thing?!

crossfit comment.

It continues to be well with my soul. My husband has gotten into this health/fitness kick (of which I desperately need to follow suit) and he gathers his workouts for the day from

While he's been in Iraq, I often read the comments that Aaron leaves before or after completing his workouts. In a weird way, it makes me feel closer to him.

When we talked on the phone earlier, we got to talking about Crossfit and he told me to make sure I read his comment from yesterday's workout. I said, "ok" and thought nothing of it. About five minutes ago, I checked the website and here's what I found:

26 yo male 181lbs

Man, I can't say after flying for 13 hours today that i was excited about this one. I ended up scaling back to work on other things.

30 burpees (with box jump added)
A tabata of holds of 12kg kettlebell overhead
a tabata of pushups
a tabata of squats
3 sets of 8 weighted pullups (16kg)
3 sets on the ab wheel
3 sets of ten of ring pushups

Man I miss my wife, I love you baby if you're reading this!

Comment #314 - Posted by Webb on December 25, 2007 08:43 AM

*sigh* I am such a lucky woman. Maybe this Christmas Day isn't so bad, after all.

he called.

And it was wonderful. All is well with my soul again.

cards from heaven.

If you haven't read this story, read it now:

Tue Dec 25, 11:17 AM ET
ASHLAND, Ore. - Even in death, Chet Fitch is a card. Fitch, known for his sense of humor, died in October at age 88 but gave his friends and family a start recently: Christmas cards, 34 of them, began arriving — written in his hand with a return address of "Heaven."

The greeting read: "I asked Big Guy if I could sneak back and send some cards. At first he said no; but at my insistence he finally said, 'Oh well, what the heaven, go ahead but don't (tarry) there.' Wish I could tell you about things here but words cannot explain.

"Better get back as Big Guy said he stretched a point to let me in the first time, so I had better not press my luck. I'll probably be seeing you (some sooner than you think). Wishing you a very Merry Christmas. Chet Fitch"

A friend for nearly 25 years, Debbie Hansen Bernard said, "All I could think was, 'You little stinker.'"

"It was amazing," she said. "Just so Chet, always wanting to get the last laugh."

The mailing was a joke Fitch worked on for two decades with his barber, Patty Dean, 57. She told the Ashland Daily Tidings this week that he kept updating the mailing list and giving her extra money when postal rates went up. This fall, she said, Fitch looked up to her from the chair.

"You must be getting tired of waiting to mail those cards," he told her. "I think you'll probably be able to mail them this year."

He died a week later.

so, it's christmas.

I haven't gotten out of the bed yet because I'm just not quite awake enough for all the least not quite awake enough to partake in the festivities with a smile on my face.

I haven't heard from Aaron in three, count 'em, three days. THREE DAYS!!! Merry Christmas to me, I guess...

Surely he'll call me sometime today, right? He's got to know it's my Christmas, too. I didn't get a package from him or anything. A phone call is surely the least he could do, right??

I just hope he's ok. I don't imagine Christmas in Iraq is all that joyful. But maybe he'll get to see Jessica Simpson or some Playboy centerfold. They go over there for the holidays, don't they?

Well, here we go. Christmas. Bring on the coffee. It's gonna be a long morning.

December 23, 2007


Ok, that last post was negative (even though it's true). Let's talk about the good things that have happened lately.

Item 1: I went to see "P.S. I Love You" tonight and P.S. I loved it! It was great! I laughed, I cried, I wished Aaron was home. It was good times...although it is nothing like the book.

Item 2: I got a one-hour massage and facial yesterday. That was great. The girl who massaged me couldn't have been taller than 5 feet and probably weighed about 100 pounds, but she was the strongest massage therapist I have ever had. In fact, I was sore AFTER the massage! My "angel wings" are killing me.

Translation: angel wings = that muscle from where, if we were angels, wings would sprout on either side. Got it?

Item 3: Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I guess that sort of kind of makes me smile. But not really.

Item 4: I went shopping again today and bought more clothes. That definitely makes me smile.

Item 5: Hittin' the gym as soon as I get back to Arkansas. Holy crap. It's amazing how slacking off causes...what I have now. Geez. (Ok, that wasn't positive...sorry)

Item 6: I've run out of good things to say. Time for pj's and a novel...and maybe some eggnog (WITH booze) and pizzelles...note once more Item 5.

nope. not right. not even close.

So, tomorrow's Christmas Eve, right? Whoopty-freakin'-doo. This Christmas blows.

Yeah, yeah. I am blessed, I am lucky, life is good. Bah humbug!

Although I acknowledge the before mentioned, this Christmas just isn't sitting right with me. And as unsettled as it's caused me to be, I can only imagine how Aaron feels...enjoying the holiday season in the...Iraqi desert. Lovely.

So tonight is my night to complain. And no, I will not get over it.

December 22, 2007

the best spa pedicure i've ever had.

My Mom has been so cute with all these little "surprises" she has planned for me this weekend. Since I am leaving home two days after Christmas, she decided that she would plan fun stuff for us to do this weekend - one surprise each day. Awwwww!

Yesterday, my surprise was a spa pedicure and h-o-l-y-c-r-a-p it was the best pedicure I've ever had! It lasted about two hours! Ahhh, I can remember it now. Mud masks, hot towel wrap, massage. Wonderful.

The only bad thing about it was that it ended....and my toes weren't completely dry when I left and I was wearing socks and Ugg-type boots. Now, the polish on my big toes are kind of screwed up. Ugg! ;)

This just in: today's surprise is a massage and a facial! I love my mama!

hi, aaron!

I just recently found out (yesterday) that my husband has bookmarked my blog and *gasp!* reads it! I had no idea he was keeping up with it.

He said, "Now I shouldn't have told you because you'll start censoring everything you say." Ha! Most likely!

So, Aaron, I apologize if you've read anything on here that didn't put you in the best light. Us bloggers use this medium as an outlet (I think). It's our therapy, a way of staying connected. So, yes, I am sorry if I made known to the world that you were anything less than perfect :)

December 21, 2007

pizzelles part 2.

Ok, I guess the picture below wasn't adequate enough. Here's what I told Tyly: A pizelle is like a very thin waffle. You make them by pressing them in something that looks like a waffle maker, except it's called a "pizelle baker." And it doesn't really have the texture of a waffle, it's more like a dessert cookie....but it looks like a waffle. Does that make sense?! It's an Italian thing.

You make dough, roll it into balls, and then press them out on that iron-looking thing pictured above. They taste like...well, now that's hard to explain. They're just really good!


In case you were wondering, here's what a pizzelle looks like. They've been a family tradition of ours since I can remember. Which reminds me, I need to eat some right now. :)

December 20, 2007

home on the range.

After a full day of traveling, I am finally home! My flights were perfect (unlike last time) and I actually enjoyed myself today.

I practically finished "Tenth Circle" by Jodi Picoult and I just started it last night! I spent my day in complete oblivion to everyone and everything around me. I've just been so caught up in this novel!

When I arrived in Houston, I had to wait for the shuttle. While I was waiting, a man walked down the stairs towards me wearing a cowboy hat, Justin boots, and a tie with a bull skull on it. I had never been more proud. The sun was shining when I arrived and people were walking around the airport in shorts and flip-flops. Texas!! Simply the best there is!

When I got home, Mama made ham, potato & cheese casserole, and green beans. Dad has been making pizzelles for the past week or so, so I happily gobbled down about three after dinner and nestled in bed to watch "Clash of the Choirs." Go Team Lachey! So, as of right now, life is good and comfortable. I miss my boy more than anything, and yet home is still home.

By the way, have you heard the news? Britney's Spears' little sister is preggers!!

headed out.

Will be leaving for Texas in a few hours. Not like it matters much, since I'll totally have the Internet at my folk's house, but still. Just FYI. Can't wait to sleep on that plane! See ya on the flip side!

December 19, 2007

new year's eve.

I will be back from Texas by the 27th...with nothing to do until January 15th. Ugh! I need plans for New Year's Eve. Is anyone doing anything exciting? Road trip, anyone?

tearjerker of the day.

A friend has this posted on her myspace page and I stole it and posted it here. Does anyone know what radio show or TV show this was taken from? Make sure your speakers are on and get out your tissues...

December 18, 2007

a bitter pill to swallow.

Just realized that a year ago, yesterday, Aaron came home from Iraq...for the first time.

Why, oh why, can't he be coming home yesterday?

[insert celebratory whoop here]

On an "I-can't-sleep" whim, I checked my grades on UALR's website, doubting highly that they would be posted...but they were....and your girl just earned herself not one, not two, but three big, fat A's for the Fall Semester!!

The perfect 4.0 legacy continues!! (Now if only I had people around with which to celebrate...)

But heck yes anyway, right!? Hard works pays off!

Don't forget to see all other posts down below - I've been in a posting frenzy tonight.

happiness is...

baking a whole platter of Erica's cookies and not sharing.

sugar coma.

Here's some pictures from our day 'o frosting and sugar. The gingerbread house kits were kind of a bust. Things just aren't as fun when you're 25. Go figure.

After the "mortar" was applied.
Shannon's (so cute!):
I think I liked my roof the best:
Hi, I'm five:
And I just threw this picture in because it made me eerily resemble Arwen from Lord of the Rings. Aaron likes him women elfish ;)
And yes, "It's a Wonderful Life" was very nice. I teared up at the end when he reads the note from the angel in the book: "...Remember this: no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings!"

Two thumbs up.

December 17, 2007

don't have much to say, so i'll ramble.

Welcome to the most incoherent post, ever.

Today Shannon and I are going over to Laura's to make gingerbread houses. Laura is actually making hers from scratch, whereas Shannon and I (being the homemakers we are), bought kits from Bed, Bath & Beyond for $9.99. I am definitely looking forward to it and will be sure to have pictures up later. Now, one doesn't actually eat the gingerbread house, correct? Aren't they mostly for decoration? We never made them growing up, so I'm a little clueless.

Ooh, and the biggie of today is that there is a FREE showing of "It's a Wonderful Life" at the local movie theatre...that's what it's called, right? It's a Wonderful Life? Anyway, like gingerbread houses, I have never once seen that movie. So, what did I do on Christmases of old? PLAY WITH ALL MY FREAKIN' TOYS! I'm an only child so Christmas wasn't really about family togetherness and watching angel movies and crap. It was about playing until I passed out. Ha!

I can't wait to see the movie on the big screen! I think it will be so much better than just watching it at home on DVD, don't you? Besides, it's a free showing and I get movie popcorn so that make me happy. Period.

What else....last night I went over to Shannon's and she made dinner for us - which was really good even though she thinks it wasn't -- and then we watched "Deja Vu." More like "Deja Boo" in my opinion. It was horrible! But it took up two hours of our evening, so whatever.

I guess I should go make myself some lunch and then continue doing the laundry. I think I've been doing laundry since last Tuesday...

My most recent complaint about life is barking dogs.!?! We got some new neighbors this weekend and they have a dog - fine. But my dog gets incredibly excited, which causes the other surrounding neighbor's dogs to get excited and then they just bark and bark all day long. I have to bring Texas in because the noise just drives me insane! I wish my neighbors would follow suit and bring their dogs in, too, but noooooOOOOOooooooOOOOO....they just keep them outside, all day long, barking and barking and barking. Agghh!

Ok, I'm done now.

December 16, 2007

ugly christmas sweater party 2007.

Was a blast! I'm not too sure how honest I can be on my blog about my experiences at the party since everyone there is both in the USAF and my husband's'll spare you the details and just remember them in my brain instead. Here are some pictures of the madness, though.

Here's me, Kat, and Shannon rockin' the 5th grade teacher sweaters. Mine even had shoulder pads in it!
Janae won the "Most Authentic" vote and here she is showing off her prize and her boyfriend, Will, acting a fool. Doesn't he look like an elf?!
Randall, the wonder horse!
Notice all the kitchen madness behind us!
The "shot luge." Awesome. I was coerced into partaking...
Told ya...
This just looks horrible. I think that was the point, though.
Red sweaters only!
Cute Janae and William.
William and his entourage.
There were a lot more people there, but you get the idea. It was a really good time until about midnight when people started getting belligerent and stupid. We left around 12:30. Good times!!

December 15, 2007

the strangest dichotomy.

Did I spell dichotomy correctly? (I must have since there's no red line underneath it)

So, it's strange. Days pass by slowly on their own, yet when I look at the calendar, I realize time has gone by exceptionally quick since Aaron's been gone.

He's been gone nearly 10 weeks now. Two months and some change. After I return from Texas for Christmas, he and I will only have about a month (we hope!) left. How bizarre! I hate to think of what time we will have left if he doesn't come home early...about a month and a half. Blah.

How is it that days can pass so slowly and one feels as if time has stopped? Yet, when reflecting on the week as a whole, it flew by?

Such a clash in thought and theory.

And I like it.

i'm a burglar.

Since Meredith and Sara are taking forever to do this, I took it upon myself to steal it from Rachel, even though I was not the chosen "tagged" one. Whatever.

It's not like Meredith's been busy or anything...I mean, all she's done today is graduate from college!! ;) Congrats, by the way!

Fun, Exciting Questions

*I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 4 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments... what is it?
1. Produce ---> Pink Lady apples
2. Bakery ---> Chocolate cupcakes
3. Meat ---> Ground beef (it's simple)
4. Frozen ---> One of those fancy pizzas...the name escapes me right now

* Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles with you. So, what's in your bag?
1. Makeup
2. Hair tie
3. Comfy jeans

* If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. I probably shouldn't eat this, but...
2. Seriously?
3. Sit. Stay. Down. Wait. Go to your house.
4. Ugh.
5. Wanna do something?

* So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you'd probably be in a pretty irritable/bad mood?
1. Check email
2. Drink coffee
3. Check the mail (it gives me a thrill...every single day. I've always been like that, too!)

* What are 3 things that you have in your room that have been with you for
the longest amount of time?
1. Some purses
2. Pictures
3. Clothing

* You're driving down the road and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
1. Some jackass on a crotch-rocket riding too fast and swerving between lanes
2. Someone driving slow in the PASSING LANE
3. People not yielding or speeding up to get on the highway from the access roads!!

* Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. Read
2. Blog
3. Gym
4. Watch TV
5. Go out to eat or shop

* We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. Polar bears
2. Monkeys
3. Elephant

* You just scored tickets to the taping of any show of your choice. You can pick between 3, so what are you deciding between?
1. Oprah
2. On-the-set ticket to Grey's Anatomy, please.
3. Saturday Night Live

*You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?

1. Chocolate
2. Chocolate
3. Rocky Road ;)

* Somebody stole your purse/wallet… in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. Knock off Louis Vouton wallet
2. Cell phone
3. Pens/Highlighters
4. Loose change
5. Lip balm

* You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 5 careers would be fun for you?
1. Columnist
2. Novelist
3. Flower shop owner
4. Fashion designer
5. Book store owner

* If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were a teenager and tell yourself 4 things, what would they be?
1. You're not as ugly as you think you are.
2. Try wearing eye-liner, though.
3. Develop healthy eating habits now.
4. Have fun!! Life is easy!!

I now tag whoever wants to do this.

good tune.

I discovered this song on The lyrics are pretty fitting, wouldn't ya say?

"The Best I'll Ever Be" by Sister Hazel

I miss you
I miss being overwhelmed by you
And I need rescue
I think I'm fading away
But I keep thinking that you'll wake me up with a whisper in my ear
I keep hoping that you'll sneak in my room

So I wait and I wait
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

I miss you
I miss talking all night long with you
And I need this to find a way to your home
My love can you hear me
Have I been hoping loud enough, wishing hard enough
Can you see me when I'm asleep all alone - alone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid by the school and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be

Can't keep my hands from shaking
Stumbling through the wreckage again
But you're gone

So I wait and I wait
And I run myself in the same old circles
And I sit and I stare
And I run old scenes through my tired head
Of the days that we laid on our backs and said forever
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be
Was that the best I'll ever be

if only bedtime was 7:30.

I always seem to be the most tired around 7:30-8:00 at night. So...I fall asleep for about an hour and then I wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

And now, here I am, at 1:51 a.m. still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

I know I should probably just fight the urge to nap in the evening or stop eating carbohydrate-loaded dinners. But who can resist pasta on a lonely Friday night?! Not this girl.

This is so frustrating!

December 13, 2007

all these hair cuts...

I just had to post this again and tell myself....just get not cut your not cut your not cut your want Sara Evans hair....not Posh Spice hair....long took you nearly 5 years to get it this long...whoa. Ok, I'm convinced now.


The hair stays.

guest room pillows and dinner for one.

That pretty much summarizes my evening so far - and it's been wonderful! I got to talk to Aaron first thing today, so that's put me in a great mood all day! I even went to Wal-Mart around 5 p.m. and didn't mad once...whoa.

I finished up some pillows I made for my guest room bed.

Here's the bed before...very boring.
Here is the bed with the new pillows on it!
And here's a close-up of the brown and yellow pillows. Two different fabric textures and colors...nice!

These pictures don't do them justice, but you get the idea. I love the brown and yellow ones so much! Not sure how I feel about the long one, but whatever. It's a pillow.

And yes, I know, square pillows are the easiest things to sew in the world, but I don't care. They make me happy.

Shifting gears: My dinner tonight came from the Real Simple magazine I got in the mail. My dinner was amazing - and I even ate alone! You seriously have to try this recipe, as long as you can handle a lot of salt-flavor. It kind of shocked my buds at first, but I got used to it and I simply loved it. You can alter the sodium content by using low-sodium substitutes. Delicious! (Erica, I bought Hershey's kisses tonight, too, to make those cookies! Too bad I don't have a cute little girl to unwrap all the candy for me!)

chickpea pasta with almonds and Parmesan.

Serves 4.

  • 1 tbs. olive oil
  • 3 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 7 cups vegetable or chicken broth
  • 1/2 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes
  • Kosher salt
  • 1 lb. angel hair pasta
  • 1 15.5 oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
  • 1 cup flat-leaf parsley, chopped
  • 1/4 cup unsalted roasted almonds, chopped (such a nice touch of flavor!)
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan

  • Heat the oil in a large saucepan over medium-high heat.
  • Stir in the garlic and cook for 1 minutes. Add the broth, red pepper, and 3/4 tsp salt and bring to a boil.
  • Add the pasta and cook, stirring, until the broth is nearly absorbed and the pasta is al dente, about 6 minutes. Stir in the chickpeas and parsley.
  • Divide among individual bowls and top with the almonds and Parmesan.
You're welcome :)

real simple.

I was inadvertently inspired by Erica and Sara to pick up a copy of Real Simple at the Houston airport. I loved it!!

Now, I am a subscriber.

I got my first issue in today and it's like Christmas! I haven't even cracked it open yet because I really want to be able to soak it all in. It's not one of those magazines like Star, which I also subscribe to, that you can flip through while watching TV and making dinner. No, my friend, Real Simple deserves your undivided attention.

I am so excited!

P.S. I made three pillows last night that are so super cute. I'll post pictures later.

December 12, 2007

pumpkin dip. amazing.

Well, it is finally over. My last grad class of the semester. I would be more excited about it and go on and on and on, except I am exhausted. Instead, I thought I'd post a recipe I stole tonight from one of my classmates. We each brought in a snack in an effort to celebrate the last class session. David, who is an instructor of journalism at UCA, brought in this amazing dessert dip! Here's the recipe! I encourage everyone to try it. I was a little weary about it at first, but once I dipped my ginger snap into the cold goodness, I was hooked!

Pumpkin Dip

8 oz. softened cream cheese
1.5 cups powdered sugar
1 can (15 oz.) pumpkin
1.5 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

Whip cream cheese until smooth. Add other ingredients and mix well.
Chill for at least one hour before serving.
Serve with ginger snaps, Nilla wafers, apple slices, even Oreos (inside joke from class tonight).

The dip has to be cold when served. I wouldn't imagine it would taste very good at room temp.


Now I'm off to sew because I CAN!!

"he's a happy boy, happy boy, hubbahubbahubbahubbahubba!"

I don't know why, but that silly kid's song is in my head right now. I guess it's because I'm...happy.

I'm tired and stressed and overwhelmed and missing Aaron, but for the moment, I am happy.

So, I went to the Mary Kay thing tonight. It was insane!! There were so many people there! I had a lot of fun, though!! I ended up buying a whole lot of shiz. I got my Mom a present, along with a "Satin Hands and Lips" kit for myself.

I got some free stuff, too, and even won a door prize! Shannon won three! Butthead.

I also bought me some really dark eyeshadow so I can do the "smoky" look for my baby when he gets if only I knew how to actually APPLY this stuff...does anyone know how to apply eyeshadow? I want that look that Anne Hathaway rocks so well in "The Devil Wears Prada." Of course, I'm talking about after she gets her makeover and she starts wearing all that couture...her eyeshadow is just amazing! I guess this is what I'm talking about:
Any ideas on how to accomplish this look without looking like a hooker?!

After the "free facial," Shannon and I went to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought "gingerbread house" kits that we're going to put together on Monday at Laura's. We're having another "movie and margarita" day and I can't wait!

After that, we went to El Porton and gorged ourselves on chips, queso, and quesadillas...and margaritas! Well, actually, I only had about 3/4 of one margarita, but you get the idea. I had worked ALLLLLLLL DAYYYY on my project that is due tomorrow, so having a fun night was a real blessing. It got my mind a little de-stressed and I had a lot of fun talking to Shannon about the Mars/Venus book.

*Sidenote: Seriously - read the book. I'm only three chapters in and it's already revolutionized my perspective!
Anyway, just a little update on my neck of the woods. Tomorrow is devoted to proofreading my stinkin 22-page paper, making brownies for class, and then going to my LAST freakin' class of this semester!! YAY! I wish you all were to celebrate with me! We could heat up some leftover Pei Wei and crack open a bottle of Yellow Tail! ('Cuz that's how I roll).

By the way, Aaron and I are currently at week 9 of this deployment. That means we "only" have 7 more weeks to go (and that's if he doesn't come home early...)

Off to read more Mars/Venus. Goodnight!

December 10, 2007

two down, one more to go.

I finished another grad class tonight for this semester. We got our big honkin' projects back tonight and I got a 188/200! Yessssssss! I needed a 165/200 to get an A for the class, so I can celebrate now. Another A for the semester! Woohoo!!

Some girls from class and I went out to dinner afterward. We went to Pei Wei (I know, I'm gonna start looking like Chicken Pad Thai soon) and I even had a beer to truly seal in the fact that this horrible class was officially over!

Now if only I could get my lazy butt to finish up the project that is due for Wednesday's class...

i'm the king of the castle...

Don't you just love you some Dave Matthews at 2 a.m.? I'm still awake because I slept until 11:30 this morning. Yeah, didn't quite make it to church. And in fact, the only reason I even woke up then was because Aaron called me! I'm horrible.

So here I sit, listening to Dave Matthews and writing my final paper ever of this semester! I have about 12 pages written so far and I still need to write two more sections by Wednesday! Just shoot me!

So an interesting thing happened today. I got a call from the Mary Kay lady I mentioned in an earlier post, and turns out, I also "won" the drawing from McAllister's. I was so excited! I have scheduled my facial the same time as Shannon's. How funny! I called her after I got off the phone with the Mary Kay lady and we laughed, realizing that probably EVERYONE "won" the drawing. I have to admit, this woman has excellent marketing skills! Not only do I get the free facial, but I also get $20 worth of free products. And heck, for receiving a free facial, I might as well just buy some crap from this woman. She obviously knows what she's doing. Yay for free facials!

So I started reading "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" today. I didn't even get past the Introduction before I raised my hands and proclaimed, "Hallelujah! You understand!" I can't wait to get into the nitty-gritty of the book's content. Aaron is reading the book with me. He has a copy over yonder in the desert and the idea is that we'll read a section of the book and then "discuss" it one day a week. Corny, but I love him for it. This book-reading-togetherness idea was actually HIS, not mine. Reason #46 for why my husband is amazing.

Speaking of amazing husbands, Aaron has been really supportive and helpful during my
"crisis of sadness" here lately. He has been so cute, offering me advice and little tips to make my days better.

For instance, he told me to "do him a favor and go get my hair done." He said a haircut always makes him feel better, so he would be happy for me to go see my hairstylist, Seath, and get my hair did...on his dime. Hehe.

Aaron also suggested changing up my workout routine (brilliant!) and downloading some new music on the iPod. How on earth did he know that the gym was getting so boring?!

Then he asked the most poignant question: "When's the last time you read a book for fun?" I realized I hadn't read a "fun" book since BEFORE this summer! No wonder I'm miserable! So I declared today, thanks to my sweet hubby, that I would finally delve into that 10-book pile on my bedroom floor. Since he just started reading Mars/Venus, it was a no-brainer that I would choose that book first. Such little suggestions he offered, yet they make so much sense! He made me feel a lot better today :)

Ok, now that's 2:23 a.m. I think I'm going to call it a night.

Cassandraism #3: Read for fun. That way, you never forget how good life can be in pajamas and a warm bed.

Oh, and the movie was great. I cried like a baby. I just can't even think about losing my mama.

December 9, 2007

go watch ABC right now!

Mitch Albom's book For One More Day was made into a movie and it's on right now on ABC. Go watch it or at least set your DVR! I'm watching it when it's done recording. Boo for commercials. Get your tissues out; it's going to be a doozy!

And if you haven't read this book, do it! In fact, a Mitch Albom book bundle would make an excellent Christmas present. you must read For One More Day, Tuesdays with Morrie, and my personal favorite, The Five People You Meet in Heaven.

my friends.

Here we are last night at Cajun's. Sorry about the red-eye. I don't have a imaging program on my computer. As you can see, those martinis were gooooood.

just can't shake it: the test and other things.

I hate to be a downer, but I'm just feeling sad tonight. Surprised? I didn't think so. I thought "venting" about it would make me better, so here I am. Venting.

I don't think I did too well on my test. It was a lot harder than I expcted it to be and yes, I did study. There were a lot of science questions that I just had no clue how to answer - if you know me, you know I'm not good at that stuff. I think I did pretty well on the math portion, though - which is surprising! I think everyone assumes that since it's a test for little ones, that all the
questions are going to be something like 2+2. That's totally not the case. I had to calculate the volume of an object (which I totally guessed on because I'm a English teacher, not a math/science guru), had to remember what conservation of mass was (what is that anyway!?), had to analyze speeches, do averages, formulas, etc. etc. It was really hard. :(

To make things worse, I arrived on time at the school at 7:30 and we didn't even get started on the test until 9:15! It was supposed to start at 8! It was horribly disorganized and I was fighting back the urge to be annoyed. I just let it ride. Once the test finally began, I knew I was in for it. There's just a whole other side of the brain required to understand that level of...understanding?? I wasn't used to it; so I don't think I did too hot. I "calculated" that I did not know 24 of the 110 questions...if that's accurate, I think I still pass. Let's just hope I got some of those right. Needless to say, that was kind of a downer for me. I find out my results in 3-4 weeks. Ugh. (And thank you, Chelsey, for spending nearly two hours with me on the phone last night, helping, encouraging, and preparing me for this test. You are so wonderful).

When I got home from the test, I just ate my Chicken Pad Thai from Pei Wei that I picked up on the way home and then watched TV and took a nap. I slept until about 5 p.m. and then I went and met Shilo and Shannon for "girl's night." We went to Cajun's for dinner and the food was ok. It definitely wasn't worth $40, but whatever. My martini was excellent. We sat and talked for 3 hours!! It was really nice...but then it was time to go home...

So here I am. I know I have been completely depressing here lately. And I thought things were getting better (case in point: my last post). But it hasn't gone away. And I'm doing everything I know how to do. I am sleeping good, working out, eating healthy (for the most part), drinking water, doing stuff I need to do...but still the sadness remains. It's awful. I don't know what to do with myself. I wish I could just hug my husband or sit with him for 10 minutes.

I've never really felt this way before. My friends could always pick me up; now they just make it worse. They don't mean to, of course! It's just hard to be happy when everyone else is...happy. Shannon's husband comes home in about two weeks...*sigh. I am so happy for her and excited that they get to be together again, but it sure does make for some rough nights sometimes. We all do our time, though. She deserves it. And my time will come soon enough. Right now, it just feels like a long-time coming...

I've found myself praying a lot lately because I feel so isolated and alone. I literally feel like I have no one to talk to, no one who understands. No one. So, I turn to God and I pray. And I ask him all sorts of things and it comforts me for the moment. It's really all I have right now that makes me feel like Im not so alone. Prayer is sustaining me through this hard time. I might even go to church tomorrow with my friend Shelly because I feel like going would give me a feeling of
warmth again (even if only for an hour). I just need someone or something to comfort and hold me. And I know Aaron can't do that right what else do I have left? (Although I just looked at the clock and realized that church may not happen, after all...)

It's such a strange feeling. I don't cry much, I just feel empty. I don't carry on and act's just all buried inside. Aaron's really the only one who knows how I feel (well, and now you). And honestly, he's the only one I WANT to talk to, yet the only person I can't talk to for logistics reasons. We only get 15 minutes on the phone, and when we do talk, we can't hear each other because the connection is awful. It's almost better to not even talk at all because not being able to hear or understand each other is overwhelmingly frustrating. You wait all day and night for "the phone call," and then you can't hear one another. Absolutely awful.

I just can't shake this feeling right now. I had no idea it would be this bad.

December 7, 2007

little blessings = big impact.

As you know, I've had a rotten last two weeks. Things are still a little blah, but they are slowly getting better.

I've had a bundle of little blessings tossed my way in the last two days, and they've made me feel a lot better.

First off, I went and got my nails done today by a REAL technician at a REAL salon. I know this sounds awful, but I hate the way the "Asian" places do nails - they're so thick and fake-looking. Ugh! So I opted to pay a little bit more for the real deal. And I had the best time! The woman who did them was wonderful. She and I talked about her daughter and our husbands and she did a really great job! I was so very pleased! And it set me up for a good day. I'm actually awake before noon! Now I can get stuff accomplished!

Also, St. Nicholas came and visited me Wednesday night. Apparently, in Europe, children put their shoes out on the front porch and "St. Nicholas" comes on December 5th and delivers goodies by placing them in your shoes! My good friend, Laura, AKA St. Nicholas, warned me about this tradition and reminded me to put my boots out. When I got home from class, this is what awaited me:
I was so excited!! Look how cute this was!
"St. Nicholas" got me some English toffee deliciousness (which I think may have been home-made), some hand-made jewelry (yes, Laura makes jewelry!), a Christmas mug, some hot chocolate, lip gloss, and foot scrub! Laura is amazing. She totally brightened my day.

Also, I went to lunch with Shannon and Janae yesterday and when we walked into McAllister's, a woman from Mary Kay was at the front door handing out flowers to all the "girls." We also signed up for a drawing to win some Mary Kay products and a free facial. Turns out, Shannon won! And she can bring a friend! Guess who she chose?! Although she gets the free merchandise, I believe we BOTH get a facial on Tuesday evening! I am so thankful that she picked me! It's like "America's Top Model," where the winner chooses a friend to share in the joy of the

Finally, I had been keeping in my feelings for the last two weeks with Aaron. I guess I was trying to hide them from him in hopes they would just go away. Well, they didn't. So last night, I finally broke down and wrote him a super long email telling him how I feel, how I need more from him, etc. etc. And he was so wonderful about it! I had been worried that I would make him mad or hurt his feelings. I didn't want him to think he was doing a bad job of staying connected with me, but that's kind of how it's felt the last two weeks. He was NOT angry, he was NOT upset. He was so understanding and wonderful. He called me just now and the poor guy has a cold, but he was just so kind and sincere. Sometimes the guys over there forget how important communication is for us wives. And it was just so nice to have him understand and tell me that he'll try to do better.

So, although I'm not quite feeling like my normal self, little things here and there sure have made made me feel a little more sane.

I am going to spend the day studying for my EC-4 test which is TOMORROW!! And I may do some homework, too. I have "Evening" on Netflix, so I think I'll make tonight a movie night. I wish my "blogger friends" could all come over and hang out! ;)

Cassandraism #2: Never doubt the comforting effects of good friends, good husbands, and good nail technicians.
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