April 30, 2009

hungry girl and ovaltine arms.

I have my fridge up and working again! I was so tired of eating fast food! Gross!

I went grocery shopping today and bought things only off my list from recipes compiled from the Hungry Girl 200 Under 200 cookbook. I feel so healthy and chic, buying soy milk and all ;)

I came home and tried a recipe and I LOVED IT! It was for "pigs in a blanket" with chili. Of course, you buy all healthy ingredients so the calorie count and fat count is low...holy cow! It was good!

I also baked some Banana Cupcakes and they are cooling on the counter. I'll let you know how those are, too. Did I mention they have peanut butter/Cool Whip frosting and a banana slice on top? YUMMY!

Also, at Walmart, I noticed my arms are looking more toned...which reminds me of a funny story. When Aaron and I were dating a million years ago, we went to the grocery store and he needed to pick up some Ovaltine. I went my separate way to get some other item. I made my way back to the aisle he was on and I saw him do the cutest thing when he had NO IDEA I was watching: He was wearing a sleeveless workout shirt and was carrying the big tub of Ovaltine in his right hand. He then lifted the Ovaltine tub (like how one would do a bicep curl) and 0h-so-discreetly checked out his own bicep. HAHAHA! He was so busted! We still joke about that to this day! Him and his Ovaltine Arms! But I have to admit that I was kind of doing the same thing at Walmart today. My cart had gotten REALLY heavy and on the turns around the aisles, I kept looking down at my arms and thinking, "Whoa! A muscle!" That Shred program is amazing!

I am about to spend the next hour or so looking at my CD-ROM from Sandals. This is such an overwhelming decision for me since there are SO MANY options! (I know, woe is me, right?)

That's all for now. :)

April 29, 2009

for the sake of posting.

I think my depression has subsided, at least for now. Those were a rough two weeks. Just downright ugly. But they're behind me as far as I can tell. Thank goodness.

I am going to spend my free time this weekend looking up the best Sandals package for Aaron and me when he returns. I can almost feel the sand between my toes just thinking about it! If anyone has experience with Sandals, please let me know! I definitely want the most bang for my buck!

Life is pretty much the same here. I work in the mornings, break in the afternoon, and then go to Sylvan in the evenings. I watch a lot of TV. I talk to my husband on Skype almost every day (which is such a blessing). I email, I Facebook. I work out. I eat. I talk to my dog. I read People magazine. And that's pretty much it.

The new Backflip site is almost done (and yes, I know you're going to click on the link even though I just said it's not done). I'm pretty happy with it so far, although there are some changes I'm going to make - just little things here and there. It's been an exciting venture. I can't wait to tinker with it once it's completely finished.

This whole swine flu thing eludes me. Should I be worried? I had pork loin on Sunday and sausage tonight. Uhhh...

I guess that's about all for now. I better get to bed since I have to be up in 6 hours. Goodnight moon.

April 27, 2009

a sneak preview of a pretty baby :)

Of course I'll have more up on Backflip later, but I just had to share some proofs of my sweet baby Hadley. Ok, she's not mine, but still. I love her :)

Aaron, if you're reading - here's that little girl you were askin' about. Isn't she pretty?





April 26, 2009

and the winner is...

Wild Daisies!

I mulled over everyone's comments and this is the winner. I am going with the solid black/dark brown paper for the background and I've requested that the designer stray away from using the "word" embellishments and stick to the floral/abstract embellishments.

Although I LOVED all the design kits, I think this one is just more me. I do love daisies and this one just has a very warm, cozy feeling...a happy feeling.

Thanks for your input, y'all! I couldn't have done it without you. With that being said, I MUST go to bed now. It's nearly 3 am!!

April 25, 2009

feelin' good.

I think the post I just put up on 500 a day would suffice for a post here. Go read it.

narrowing it down.

What's so funny about the voting is that my favorite one received NO VOTES! Haha, thats ok! The more I look at it, the more I realize it's probably not good for a website. It was #5, by the way.

So, I'm going to narrow down the choices and I'd like people to "vote" again. And if you haven't voted yet, PLEASE DO! Again, this is for the photography site, not the personal blog. Thank you so much! Your input is extremely valuable to me! And I mean that!

#1: Bold and Beautiful

#2: Trocadero

#3: Simple Beauty

#4: Wild Daisies
Which one should it be?! This is so hard! I'm also stuck on what paper I should use as the background for the blog. Picking a kit is hard enough and then I'll have to choose the background. You could help me with that too, if ya wanted :)

April 24, 2009

need some advice.

I am thinking about paying someone to design my photography website/blog for me. I've mulled over design choices for the last couple hours and I *think* I've narrowed it down to these eight.

I need your help! I don't want to spend money on something that is going to look stupid. Please offer your opinions on your favorite design kits! PLEASE?? I'm not indicating my favorite because I don't want your votes to be swayed!

#1: Reflection

#2: Always Together

#3: Bold and Beautiful

#4: Trocadero

#5: Bohemia

#6: Zippity Do

#7: Simple Beauty

#8: Wild Daisies

uhh...

I changed some stuff on Backflip instead. Not sure if I like the new look or not. My back started to hurt so I got away from the computer.

I'll work on this blog some other time. Haha!

a "my cup" makeover.

It's Friday. I have no plans. My Cup will then receive a makeover because...I have nothing else to do.

Keep checking back.

Yay.

April 23, 2009

enough!

I've gotta shake this rut. And I mean now!

No, I haven't had some earth-altering revelation nor do I feel any different, but at least I am willing to make a change now...I think.

I worked out today - which I hope means that I am getting better.

I have a pretty busy schedule for this weekend (and by busy I mean I have like, two things to do), but after that I am getting out of here! I thought that staying here on the weekends would be good for me. NO! It's driving me crazy!!!!!

If I can make it through this weekend and the next (which sounds impossible right now) then I'll be out of here! I'm going to Del Rio for Mother's Day weekend and then I'm pretty sure I'm going back to Atlanta the weekend after that. Then the next weekend is Memorial Day and I know everyone BUT ME will have plans so I've gotta think of another escape for that weekend, too.

I just don't care anymore if this is seen as weakness. Watch your husband go to Iraq and tell me you wouldn't feel the same way. Wanna judge? Walk a mile first! I cannot do what I'm doing anymore. It's not working and I'm an absolute wreck.

Two more weekends here...breathe.

April 22, 2009

is it really still april?

I guess I'll stop boring you with my blahness. But I haven't really shaken it yet. I'm just so...blah.

All I've wanted to do these last three days is sit on the couch in my pjs. And aside from work, that's pretty much all I've done.

So, I'll stop talking about it now. I'm sure it's just a downer. Let me move on to another subject...

*musical accompaniment while I think to show you that I've still at least got my humor*







Sorry, but I got nothin' but blah.

i love bob and jillian.

My favorite part is Bob's explanation of why you shouldn't eat foods containing high fructose corn syrup. Haha!

April 21, 2009

all roads lead to my cup.

Some google searches that led to my blog(s):

"how to get free stuff for my deployed husband"

"kelly sellers blogspot"

"finished level 2 of 30 day shred"

"i love you sweety, letter"

"what does old love of my life mean?"

"just you and me, that is where I want to be"

"cassandra sagan"

MY FAVORITE SO FAR....

"how to tell old love to get lost"

AND THE MOST INTERESTING...

"intraventicular hemoraging"

tuesday takes the lead.

Tuesday has become my favorite day and here's why:
  • The weekends suck with no husband. I'd almost rather eliminate them entirely since there's so much time and NO ONE with which to spend that time.
  • Sylvan closes early so I always get to leave early! Yes!
  • American Idol, Biggest Loser, and the Dancing with the Stars results show. Need I say more?
  • It's not Monday.
And that's pretty much it. Yay for Tuesdays, the highlight of my pathetic life! ;)

April 20, 2009

a sylvan funny.

Me: I'm so sleepy today!

Cute Kid: Why??

Me: I stayed up way too late last night!

Cute Kid: I stayed up until 10!!!

Me: I stayed up until 2 in the morning!

Cute Kid: (shocked) Whoa, that's late!

Me: I know.

Cute Kid: You have bags under your eyes.

Me: (laughing) Thanks for letting me know!

whaddya know?

As soon I as got done writing that God-awful post down below, my husband got on Skype and we ended up talking for 2 hours until 2 in the morning. I was just about to shut down the computer, too!

Talking to him made me feel so much better, puffy eyes and all.

I feel better today. Here's to small victories.

The timing last night was just perfect. I really needed to see his face. It restoreth my soul.


April 19, 2009

word vomit.

  • Miss North Carolina took the crown. I'm okay with that. She's a Southerner, so it's all good.
  • Our fridge went kaput. I mean, really. What else is going to fall apart? The Sears people can't come fix it until Tuesday morning so I had to go to Walmart tonight and buy ice and a cooler. Could things get any more fun over here??
  • I want to sleep until June. Think anyone would care?
  • I need to get out of here. Two weekends in a row in Arkansas alone and wow.
  • I am actually very sad. I'd even go so far as to say I'm depressed. I pray and it helps. I make a daily effort to maintain perspective and that helps, too. But sometimes I want to see a doctor. But then I shake that off. But there are moments...little moments...when I don't feel quite like myself and that scares me. I'm not capable of doing myself harm or anything stupid like that, I just don't feel right. I feel very unsettled all the time. I kind of feel like the air around me is pressing in on me and I can't breathe. I feel like I'm in a bubble and can't get out. Suffocated. And no place is going to make me feel better nor is any person going to make me feel better. But I pretend like everything's ok because well, what choice do I have? I am literally stuck in an uncomfortable place both physically and mentally and there's nothing I can do about it except deal.
  • I cried today for the first time in a very long time and it felt good. Really good.
  • I hate that my happiness depends on a man. But he's more than a man. He's my husband and we are one person now. It's just not natural to be separated for so long. It's just not right.
  • I saw baby Hadley today and it brought me joy. She is so sweet and she smells so good. I held her and fed her and rocked her until she fell asleep. She's just so beautiful. I love her.
  • I've stopped thinking of new bullets now. Sorry to be such a downer, but this is my reality, people. Besides, you wouldn't want anything from me but the truth, right?


A.,

If you're reading this, no, I am not some crazy person. Ok, well, maybe I am. But I really am ok. You know me. I'm just down. You ARE my life; you ARE my world; you are ME. You know deployments go in waves. This is just a low point. Don't call your mother to check on me. I am ok. I miss you with every fiber of my being and I've never loved anyone the way I love you. Nothing's right when you're not with me. Come home soon.

my pick for tonight's winner...

Miss Texas! Like you even had to wonder...

And I *guess* my second choice would be Miss Arkansas. I guess.

April 18, 2009

today.

  • Not counting calories. It's my "high calorie day" in an effort to "shock" my system or whatever. I'm not counting anything!
  • Watching 17 Again this afternoon with my besties.
  • Going to dinner at Cantina Laredo this evening. Will enjoy their fabulous chicken fajitas and a margarita or two...or three.
  • Will work out if I feel like it.
  • Will enjoy my current situation despite how crappy it is and how angry and lonely it makes me feel. Will live in the present. Will try to be positive. Will see the silver lining. Will focus on the higher things and not be consumed by the gloom that surrounds me at all corners, in everything I feel, see, and do.
  • Will stop trying to understand or make sense of other people's actions. I can only control myself. I will stop being the victim, the martyr, the doormat, the one who does all the work. I will only give as much as I receive. Backwards way of thinking, I know, but I am just exhausted.
  • Will try to see the sunshine through the rain.
  • Will breathe.

April 17, 2009

oh my...

Vera Bradley released their new Spring line...this is bad news for the pocketbook.

I want this really, really badly. I'd take anything in this print, actually. It's gorgeous! Bali Gold, I love you!

April 16, 2009

whenever you come around.

I was bummed today. Last night, a sandstorm knocked out the Internet over in the desert (again) and I was positive that I wouldn't hear/see Aaron for a long while. Last time this happened, we had to go 2 weeks without Internet access on his end. It was just awful. I was sure we'd have to go through that all over again.

Last night I prayed for the Internet (among other things). But how silly does that sound? I prayed the Internet would work over there so we could continue Skyping every day. It makes a world of difference to see his face and hear his voice, ya know? We've been able to communicate this way nearly every day for the last couple weeks and I think I've gotten spoiled. Anyhow, I prayed that God would fix the Internet. Silly.

So, I was bummed all day. I was readying myself to watch The Office and do crossword puzzles out of my saved up People magazines and I thought I'd check Skype on a whim -- and there he was! Oh, happy day!!!!

We got to talk for a good 30 minutes or so and the webcam worked and everything.

My mood instantly changed. "When you smile that smile, my world turns upside down..."

I am so thankful that God answers our prayers -- even the silly ones. He listens!

like johnny and june.

I don't know these people, but this obituary made me tear up a little. Husband and wife died not even two weeks apart from one another. Although I don't know the circumstances, I'd like to think it's because one couldn't live without the other.

I had two birds once. Sonny and Cher. When Cher died, Sonny stopped singing. He puffed up and passed away very shortly after Cher. He lost his love bird. And he lost his song.

Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash died within months of one another. Johnny held June's hand when she took her last breath.

And then you have Cassandra and Aaron. I hope we go out like this. I don't want to live a day without him.

I'm not so sure I even could.

April 15, 2009

bulletness.

  • Started up the healthy thing again. I think I mean it this time. I am SO TIRED of feeling like a blob. Two days in = so far, so good.
  • I'm incredibly lonely and bored. Everyone's got their own agendas these days (which I totally understand), but it sure would be nice to actually interact with a human being who is not in the service industry or at the gym looking at my boobs. Friends. Husband. I miss them.
  • It really doesn't feel like 10 p.m. I am wide awake. This is not good.
  • The Reba show makes me smile. I have been recording ALL of the shows and just deleting the ones I've already seen. I watch them before bed or in the morning while I eat breakfast. It's nice.
I just lost all motivation to complete this post. I'm lame.

cauliflower mashed...potatoes?

Jillian on The Biggest Loser advocated trying cauliflower in lieu of potatoes when you're wanting mashed potatoes. So, I went to the market today and bought some cauliflower for the first time in a looooong time and tried this new concept tonight.

They're not tooooooooo terrible. I'd take regular old potatoes over cauliflower any day, but they are edible.

Initially, I was going to mash them, but that wasn't working AT ALL (too chunky/grainy/bumpy) so I had to bust out the food processor. I got them to a nice puree. Oh, and before all the mashing/pureeing, I added milk and butter (just like regular potatoes). I figure you save so many calories by nixing the spuds, that a little skim milk and butter is ok (not even a whole tablespoon of butter, by the way).

So, I pureed them until they were nice and creamy. Then I added some cheddar cheese on top and viola! Mashed cauliflower. It is definitely different...the taste isn't too bad; it's the texture that's hard to get over. Kind of like a grits-meets-potato-meets-mush hybrid. I guess I'm just used to potatoes being so thick and amazing. My puree was a bit on the thin side.

Next experiment? Mashed sweet potatoes! It's amazing how many less calories they have than regular baking potatoes!

P.S. Butter is a good fat, milk is fat and protein, and cheese is protein, lest you judge! (according to the Zone Diet - the only diet that works!!)

April 14, 2009

no rest for the weary.

I didn't get much sleep last night. And when I did, I had the weirdest, most bizarre dreams that woke me up.

I went to bed around 11:30 pm. Woke up at 2:23 am, then again at 4:20 am, then again at 6ish, and finally just surrendered to the morning sun at 8am. What is wrong with me?!

I was so tired when I went to sleep, you would have thought I'd have slept the whole night through. I guess I just have some things on my mind compounded with the fact that I am also PMSing in full force. Just not a good night.

I hope today is a good one. And I hope tonight is much more peaceful than the last. I pray.

April 13, 2009

baby's got the blues.

John Mayer sings and plays what's in my heart.



That's all.

sometimes things are just weird.

Ya know, funky. Unsettled. Strange. Hurtful.

I am so glad we have the best Counselor to talk to when we think things have just gone too far on the crazy side and we are really considering visiting a shrink...or at least stealing a bottle of Prozac.

I'm so thankful You're only a whisper away.

April 11, 2009

no place like home.

I love Texas. I am so happy to be here. Everything about this place is just so much better than anywhere else -- although Georgia and Tennessee are up there.

I had a great day of "girl time" with Meredith. We shopped, we ate, we watched a movie, we went with her husband and played pool. Just an all-around good day.

But now it's bedtime and although I love Texas, I still miss my husband dearly. Not even the wide-open roads and star-filled sky can make me feel truly at home when he's not near me.

Home is where your heart is, right?

(But Texas is a close second and for the time being, I'll take it).

April 9, 2009

to texas i cometh!

I really should pack.

I leave for Dallas in about 4 hours. I am way super excited to get the heck out of here -- again!

Ahhhhh, Texas. My sweet, sweet, state. How I love you so.

I guess that's all I have to say right now. I'll have pictures when I return!

April 8, 2009

i'm famous!

Well, I am if you know about Delilah and her radio show. I blogged about her show a while back and I got an email from someone at the station requesting permission from me to put my post on Delilah's website. The rep said that Delilah herself read it and loved it! How cool is that?

Here's the link. Scroll down until you see "A Whole New World."

This warms my heart. I love Delilah! And it's oh-so-cool that they thought my post was worth, well, posting!

http://www.radiodelilah.com/content/dear_d.html

April 7, 2009

mega ugh.

I knew today was going to suck. I've prayed for a better attitude and more energy. I really have. I think God's about to answer my prayer with a quick nap.

Longest. day. ever. and. it's. only. 1. p. m. help. me.

April 6, 2009

kids and some rambling.

So I was trying to get a kid (3rd grade boy and oh-so-cute) to use the word "bride" when we were working on "r blends." So, I sang, "Here comes the..." and looked at him for a response.

His reply? "Purple girl-girl."

WHAT?!?! LOL.

He eventually got it when the other boy at the table - a 5 year old - said, "No, silly! Here comes the bride!!!"

Ah, fun times.

And now I'm going to bed. I am totally wasted from today. I slept enough last night but still felt tired when I woke up. I worked this morning for a few hours, then did a killer Crossfit workout which left all my muscles the consistency of Jell-O, and then I worked again this evening. I never, ever go to bed this early, but I'm gonna try.

P.S. Anyone else check out Spencer's mean upper-cut tonight on The Hills? Geez!

April 5, 2009

sunday thoughts.

I really think I'd enjoy a career in Public Relations. I really do. I went to UAMS yesterday to visit baby Hadley and Shannon (who, by the way, are amazing) and I saw a door for Communications & Marketing. "Now that would be a cool job," I thought.

I am not good at being idle. I get restless and irritable. Yet, I love having the free time I need to be a good wife and house manager (ha!). It's this constant back and forth between wanting a thriving, meaningful career and then just wanting the simpler things in life. Blah!

I think I would be happy working if I had a job that meant something to me. I know, I know. You've heard this story before. So I guess I won't go on and on about it. I checked the UAMS website to see if they're hiring in that department - they're not.

On an totally different note, I get to see my bestie from the last million years, Meredith, next weekend! I can't wait! Trips like these are so good for my soul. I know we're going to have such a good time!!

Speaking of trips, I am still booking myself endlessly for mini-vacations here and there. I think after my Meredith trip, I am going to North Carolina to visit Chad and Kelly on their own turf. Then there's a trip to San Antonio/Del Rio in late May to see my parents. Sounds like a lot, huh? But it's not!!!!!

The weekends are the worst (duh) when your husband is deployed. In fact, I'm shocked I haven't broken down and cried this weekend since I've done virtually nothing (except see sweet Hadley) that made me happy. So yeah, I want more trips. But I'm running out of places and people and money doesn't grow on trees, y'all.

Wow. How's that for rambling?

April 4, 2009

because i love him.

and I kinda miss him, too.

This might bore most of you. I guess I made this more for myself...hehe. Aaron, if you're reading, I love ya!

April 3, 2009

happy birthday, hadley grace jackson!

My dear friend Shannon gave birth to her daughter this afternoon at 2:33 p.m. Hadley weighs 5 pounds, 13 ounces, and is 19 inches long.

I can't wait to meet the little one and see Shannon and Austin! Not sure when they're going to start accepting visitors, but rest assured, that I will be there as soon as I'm allowed! ;)

Thank you, Jesus, for healthy babies who arrive three weeks early, totally unannounced! Silly Hadley! I can't wait to kiss your face!

April 2, 2009

big plans.

I worked this morning on only 5 hours of sleep. I've decided that the rest of this rainy day will be spent under a blanket with my new boyfriend, Mr. DVR.

I could work out, run errands, and do other productive things but...why?

It's a blah day in full force.

And I'm ok with that.

April 1, 2009

bulletinas.

  • I am in love with "Kiss Me Through the Phone" by Souljah Boy. Love that song, man. "She dial my number like dadadadadada..."
  • I was thoroughly impressed by Lady GaGa's performance tonight on American Idol. Who knew?!
  • Speaking of American Idol, I couldn't be more happy now that Megan is gone! Finally!
  • Did I tell you I got my computer keyboard and mouse working? Well, I did.
  • Tomorrow Aaron has been gone for 7 weeks. Only 11 more to go...
  • Taxes are a bitch! Pardon my language, but man! I quit! I am thinking about going to H&R Block or Jackson-Hewitt tomorrow to ask for an extension. They do that if you're in a combat zone, ya know. I feel like I would just mess them all up if I tried to do them anyway. This way, Aaron can do them when he gets back error-free. What a pain!
  • At work today a kid told me that his math worksheet was "easy like cheese." It made me laugh.
  • I have Georgia on my mind.
  • It always rains the day our housekeeper comes. Thus, the house is spotless after she leaves, but once the dog comes back in, mud paw prints decorate the carpet. Ugh!
  • I got Twilight in today on Netflix. I have to admit that I am bursting at the seams to watch it, but I'm gonna wait for a lull in the weekend before I commit. That's how life is when Aaron's deployed. I fill up my time with anything I can possibly think of. Twilight will account for 2 hours of my Saturday.
  • So happy that the new season of UFC premiered tonight! YESSSSSS!
  • Vehicle registration is stupid.
  • I waited in the Walmart checkout line today for 22 minutes. That's a new record!
  • I'm gonna go Facebook now.

it's april!

Heck yeah! I love it when the calendar turns a page. We are almost half-way through this deployment. Only two-and-a-half more months to go....haha...ONLY.

a little taste of atlanta goodness.

My BFF Jenn is a nanny for a super-wonderful family which consists of Mom, Dad, Abigail, Mollie, and little Zachary. Here's baby Zach singing the ABCs. This makes me smile every time :)


 
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