December 31, 2009

a change is gonna come...it better!


Well, Christmas has come and gone. I went to Texas and spent a few days with my folks. It was hard, as expected, but still good. This week proved to me, once again, that my husband is pretty great. I don't know if it's possible to love someone more than I love that man. He is so supportive in just the ways I need him to be. The silent, strong type. He is just who I need and at the right time (such is how it has always been with him).

It was while in Texas that I received some rather earth-shattering news. First, I didn't get the job I applied for (referencing the private blog, of course). That was a huge blow and the first time I was really upset about not getting the job I wanted. I was devastated, to be honest...and felt like a total loser. I'd go into detail about it, but well, I just don't want to. It's done and that's that.

Feeling obliterated, I asked Aaron, "Why am I not getting any of these jobs I'm applying for? I'd be a little less upset if I knew the reason why."

[Enter Reason, stage left]

The day after the bad news concerning "the dream job," the doctor called me with the results of my MRI. I have a very bad, very extreme, herniated disc. Yes, people, this is the worst-case scenario alive and well in my body. The doctor said he doubted 6 months of bed rest (gag!) would make it go away, so surgery it is. He is working on getting me a referral to a neurosurgeon who will then tell us what our next step is. Herniated disc. Neurosurgeon. It all makes sense now.

Finally, an answer to this pain I've dealt with for years. Who knows how long this poor little disc of mine has been torn open? Finally, an answer to why these jobs haven't been working out for me. Hello, back surgery. One can't quite start a Big Girl Job with back surgery on the horizon. Finally, an answer to why we haven't gotten pregnant yet. An 8-pound baby in my tummy with a herniated disc?! No, thank you.

For those who don't know or haven't seen, below is a diagram of a herniated disc. Pretty, huh?


It feels just like it looks. Mega pressure on the nerve causing extreme pain down my back, in my buttock, down my leg, and into my foot - which has been numb for almost a month now.

I was shaken by this news, but also relieved. I am SO READY to meet with that neurosurgeon and get this crap taken care of. I am beyond frustrated at my lack of mobility right now. I cry a lot. And those pain meds do ungodly things to my bowels. I'm ready. I am so ready.

Now, we wait for a call from the doctor. Please pray that surgery will go well (nothing else is an option for me, as I have tried EVERYTHING THERE IS to remedy the problem). I'll keep you posted. For now, I am going to drink my Dr Pepper, eat some pretzels, and rest until the New Year's Party tonight. I know, I'm insane to go to a party in my condition, but I will NOT let this control my life. I just wish I could wear sweatpants and orthopedic shoes to the shindig...

P.S. I am not necessarily a fan of the "fml" phrase, but if there was a ever a time to post an "fml status" it was a few days ago. It would have read something like this: "...just learned she didn't get the job she wanted, has a herniated disc that requires surgery, got peed on by her parent's obnoxious Dacshund, started her period, and just saw a budding cold sore in the corner of her mouth. fml." But not really, because I consider my life pretty darn swell :)

December 25, 2009

my cup runneth over.

The Lord has been good to us this Christmas. I am taking a small break (translation: reading blogs and checking Facebook) before I enter in to the Christmas dinner cooking! I am so excited! I just hope my leg pain doesn't keep me down too much. Ugh.

Anyway, Christmas was lovely at our house. The best part, though, is that it's not even close to over! We have dinner to cook and eat and then we're going to watch The Hangover (I bought it for Aaron. He loves it. I've never seen it) and maybe watch Up...if I can handle it.

I got some super great gifts and Aaron made me a delicious Irish Cream latte this morning...then he cleaned the kitchen! Whoa!

I miss our families today, but we are headed to Del Rio tomorrow to see my folks. It is bittersweet, this Christmas. Things are not as they should be, but God is still great and life is still good. I plan on relishing every moment of the time we are home. I plan on spending quality time with that Daddy of mine. By the way, his one Christmas gift request this year? "A very big beer." Hehe!

I want to hang out with my Mama, who has been to Hell and back this year. I am so proud of her and everything she has been through. She is such a victor! And boy, does she have some good presents coming her way!

I realize this post is sort of all over the place, but that's my brain this morning. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day full of peace and joy. Thanks to our God, who is so, so good.

December 23, 2009

anticipation.

I have to work today from 2-8ish. All I want to do is bake, bake, bake and get ready for the festivities! I have so many amazing things on the menu. I just want to get started!!!

Wanna check out my Christmas Eve/Christmas Day menu? Here it is!
Desserts that I am making for Christmas Eve dinner with Aaron's family:
  • Chai Tea Eggnog Cookies. Thank you, seph, for posting about these. I googled the recipe. I hope this is sort of the same one you used. They look delicious!!!
  • Red Velvet Cake Balls (using white chocolate instead of dark). Thank you, Tyly. You are officially the devil.
  • Mocha-Walnut Brownies. My, oh, my!!! I couldn't find "instant espresso powder" anywhere, so I am going to have to substitute it with...something??! They look delish!
Yeah, we sorta like Real Simple in this house :) Happy baking and cooking, everyone! I can't wait to don my apron tomorrow and get to it! But for now, reality calls. Boo.

P.S. Still struggling with major pain. I am taking painkillers every 4 hours to keep it manageable. Still don't know the results of the MRI. I am beyond frustrated. I don't like anything keeping me down! I have worked out the last three days in hopes of getting the blood flowing in that region. It has made me feel a little better, but hasn't taken the problem away.

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Enter this giveaway! Such cute stuff, y'all!

December 21, 2009

MRI and things.

First, read latest private post here.

Second, I had my MRI this morning. For someone who is moderately to severely claustrophobic, I'd say I did pretty well. I'm not going to lie, though. There were about 3-4 instances when I really felt the need to get out of that tube. I felt nauseated and very, very hot. That fan wasn't enough air for me! The worst part about it was I had one some headphones to block out the noise...that's a good thing, right? Yes, except they were blasting cheesy Christmas music! I had to endure this for 40 minutes. I thought I was going to lose my mind...I once thought I was going to have to rip them off and take a break. It was worse than Chinese Water Torture. Ok, maybe not, but it definitely was NOT a pleasant experience for me.

I had a cloth over my eyes, Christmas music in my ears, loud noises all around me, I was wrapped in swandling clothes (baby Jesus style), and I swear it must have been 85 degrees in that thing.

But, I survived.

Now I just have to wait for the results and then go from there. Until then, Vicodin (sp?) it is!

December 20, 2009

it really is the most wonderful time of the year.

I read the Sunday paper a few weeks ago about this family. I knew this is definitely something I wanted to check out, as interesting things don't really happen in my little town.

Tonight was the night!

We got bundled up, headed to Sonic, and then straight to Linda Lane where we were not disappointed. The music you'll be hearing in the videos is a "radio station" he created with his own transmitter. One can only listen to it in the vicinity of his neighborhood. We pulled up to his house, turned our radio station to 90.9 FM, and enjoyed the synchronized show!

The best part about the whole experience, however, was when we first got there. I knew the Craven's were asking for donations to help out a local charity. I had full intentions of giving some money and figured when a man (I'm assuming it was Craven himself) wearing a Santa hat approached our vehicle, we was asking for said donations. He wasn't. He was giving out candy canes. Oh, how I cried. What a wonderful, magical moment I got to share with my husband. This season truly has been wonderful to me, full of blessings each and every day. I am so grateful to be alive, to experience true charity and love, love, love. Enjoy the shows!


December 19, 2009

read all about it!

Comments welcome. Click here to read latest private post.

December 16, 2009

privateness.

Click here to read latest private post.

P.S. I wonder how infuriating it must be to be on the "outside" of my secret circle. I'd like to give out a resounding (and oh-so mature) "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" to the haters who read my blog nearly two years ago and tattled on me. How do you like me now?!

P.P.S. If you're a regular reader of this blog and someone I call a friend (who may not happen to have the super-secret password code), I am not referring to you in the above paragraph. If you would like the password, please email me and I will be happy to send it your way.

P.P.P.S. No, I am not pretentious enough to think I have that huge of a following. It's jokes, people.

December 15, 2009

"and how old are you again?"

I went to the doctor this morning to see about this crazy pain.

I've dealt with sciatic symptoms since the beginning of time. I've always managed to "deal" with it, but this last week has been debilitating. The pain starts in my right buttock, shoots down the back of my right leg, pulsates through my calf and ends in my foot, which has been numb and cold for eight days. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

So, to the doctor I went.

Can I tell you people how nice it was to have a doctor that actually gave a crap!? I have been NEEDING, desperately wanting, a doctor to give me a dang test to see what the heck is going on. No one would. Physical therapy, they would recommend. Phooey!

I told the doctor my symptoms, and she immediately said, "You need X-rays....no! You need a MRI!" She scribbled it on her notepad. Then she said, "Are you pregnant?" I said, "Could be, but I doubt it." She said, "We'll do a urine test....no! Blood test!" She then apologized for being overly efficient, and I said, "Are you kidding me? It's nice to see a doctor who covers all her bases."

I will be having a MRI sometime soon and bad news bears: I have to have protected sex until then (TMI? Sorry). I suppose you can't have a MRI while you're preggo. Bummer.

I am hoping the MRI won't reveal the worst. But it's better to know than not, right!? I will finally know if there is a spinal/disc problem and then we can work to fix it. If there isn't a serious problem, she said we'll do some steroid injections (among other things) to help me out.

My favorite part of the whole visit was the following exchange:

Me: ...and my foot has been numb for 8 days.
Doc: (looking up at me in total shock) Are you kidding?
Me: Nope.
Doc: And how old are you again?
Me: 27
Doc: Oh, this is no good at all. We've got to get this fixed. Have you had kids yet?
Me: Nope
Doc: Ha!
Me: I've heard it only gets worse.
Doc: Oh yeah! We've got to fix this now. You don't want to be a 35-year old mother on a walker, do you?
Me: No!
Doc: Didn't think so! I'm ordering a MRI!!

Then she walked out of the examining room :)

December 14, 2009

whilst i enjoy some rocky road ice cream.

I'm going to try to write down at least ten different things.

1. I have nothing to blog about.
2. I am very close to being done with Christmas shopping. Hallelujah!
3. Is Christmas really only ten days away?
4. Sing Off was sort of disappointing...maybe it will be better tomorrow.
5. I REALLY enjoy receiving Christmas cards in the mail.
6. I am reading My Life in France by Julia Child and it is fantastique!
7. I am going to the doctor tomorrow for severe sciatic nerve pain. So much fun, this life! I am hoping he/she gives me some good narcotics until my muscle decides to unclench itself from my sciatic nerve. Ouch!
8. We had some good friends over for dinner tonight. It was so nice! They brought their sweet baby girl and oh, how she made me want one of my own. Babies. They kill me! Oh, and I made that lasagna on your blog, Tyly. It was wow-yummy!
9. Struggling with this one...
10. This one, too.

Sorry I'm so dull these days! I really need to get back to writing on this thing, but I have to censor so much of what I say that I no longer feel free to write as I did before. I just can't get myself to do an all-private blog, though. Ya know? Uggggh.

do it!

Today's the last day to enter the "You Deserve the Best Giveaway" at Fantabulously Frugal! Click here!

December 11, 2009

private again.

Click here to read. Again, not that riveting, but whatevs!

On a different note, I am super close to being the New York Institute of Photography's latest pupil! That's right, folks. I'll be a student again (my favorite thing to be in the whole, wide world). I have registered for a class called Fundamentals of Digital Photography. I can't WAIT to learn more about my craft! Yes, this is an online course (well, they ship a whole lot of paper materials to me, too), but hey - school is school. I'm excited!

December 8, 2009

private.

Click here to read. It's not that exciting, but still.

granny cass.

I am currently sipping on Crystal Light lemon tea and sitting on a heating pad....after taking a two-hour nap in the middle of the afternoon.

God, I am getting old.

Today was bad before it even started. I knew immediately that I had slept wrong and my back was in knots before I even stepped foot on the floor. Pain. Major, major pain.

I ran some errands this morning in the pouring rain (and got soaked) and all I wanted to do when I got home was sleep. So, I did. And it was glorious.

My back/butt/legs are still killing me, so on the heating pad I remain. I suppose I should get out my knitting basket, too?

December 7, 2009

how am i ever going to have kids?!

What a sweet, sweet baby.

Get your tissues. And if you can still see the computer screen, watch the next video and cry even more :) I am so thankful that Aaron will be home for Christmas this year.




December 5, 2009

i kinda sorta want to do this.

This looks adventurous and fabulous. I wonder if I could pull this off in my own bedroom. Hmmm...

December 3, 2009

whimsical.




P.S. Not sure why the quality of these images are so poor on blogger. They don't look like this normally. Weird.

December 2, 2009

for the sake of blogging.

  • My Dad made it home safely yesterday. My mom has hired someone to help at night and so far, she seems great. She stayed with them last night - when she didn't even have to. It's comforting to know he is in good hands. Not sure if I have much energy to say anything more about this.
  • Moving on...
  • If you're on Facebook, then you already know that Kelly and Chad Sellers welcomed their daughter, Kennady, into the world this morning. I saw a picture text that Chad sent to Aaron this morning and Kennady is beautiful and perfect. My cup runneth over.
  • I am really into the Christmas spirit this year. It's a nice change. I have already started some Christmas shopping and can't wait to have a whole day off where I can devote it entirely to shopping. Yay for Christmas!
  • The Vegas trip is now a no-go. We thought Aaron's ticket was going to get paid for, but alas, it is not and I personally do not want to pay $1,500 (yes, $1,500!!!!!) to fly out there just for a weekend. Seems silly, no? You could go on a week-long cruise for that much money! It's a shame we will miss the graduation, but it just doesn't make any sense and Dave Ramsey would NOT be happy with us.
  • Backflip continues to flourish. I already have several bookings for December. What a nice feeling that is.
  • Speaking of photography, after the first of the year, I am going to enroll at The New York Institute of Photography. I know it's online, but doesn't that make me sound cool? "I totally studied photography in my home office in Arkansas New York." I plan on taking one course, getting certified/graduated, and then perhaps taking the Photoshop of course. I'd have to buy Photoshop, though, which only retails for about $900. HA!
  • I feel like there's more I want to "talk" about, but I feel like I can't. Well, not on here at least. Private post, maybe? Sounds like a good idea. In fact, go here to read it. Password is the same as before.
 
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