Time for some venting: I am sooooo tired of always having to do everything around the house!!!!!! Am I the only one?!
No, I don't have a job So yes, I should do more around the house than my husband. I get that. But a little help would be nice!!!
And without being asked would be nicer. It's like that movie with Vince Vaughan and Jennifer Aniston: "I want you to WANT to wash the dishes." Seriously! Why can't men anticipate those needs? Like...if you don't wash the bottles the night before, guess what?! You won't have a clean one for the morning feeding!
If you feed the dog way too late in the day, guess what?! He'll have to go out at 3am!!!
I'm just annoyed at the moment. That's all. Ugh.
But really...does it not seem like a woman's work is NEVER done until her head hits the pillow?
7 backtalks:
I know exactly what you mean.
The way I view it, and it seems to work for Chris and I, is that while he's working, I'm working. When he gets home, it's shared responsibility. The laundry is my job, that I should get done during the day, so if I don't, then I work on it whenever. I don't expect help aside from the occasional carrying of the laundry basket upstairs and down. Over the years we've managed to split responsibility so that we're each doing the things that we're better at/are more tolerable to us. Yes, I cook and clean up supper (he clears the table & scrapes plates), but he keeps the kids out of my hair while I cook (necessary after a long day) and starts bath while I wash dishes. I'm not saying that it's equal division of labor in the house, but it's close, and we're happy with it. Of course, if he works late, then all the responsibility is mine. Like I said - when he's working, I'm working.
You're still adjusting to staying at home with Vivian, so give it some time. Be honest with one another and you'll eventually find a balance that works for you.
I know exactly how you feel, and I felt that way for a very long time after Benji was born. It takes awhile to find that balance and to be ok with it. I agree with everything Erica said. When David's working, I'm working, and while his main "job" when he gets home is to play with Benji so that I can cook (which I do enjoy), and so that they can spend some time together (which is important to both of us, since they get so little time as it is), he now does almost the entire bedtime routine, from brushing teeth to bath. We trade off putting him to bed and other things, especially if one of us has had an especially tough day and needs a break.
It's hard, there's no way around it. But do just ask. Because honestly, it really doesn't occur to men. It's not on their radar and they don't make to-do lists. That used to piss me off, because I got tired of hearing, "well, I didn't think to unload the dishwasher because I was taking care of Benji." Um, hi, I do all of that all day and more. But when I finally realized he's not doing it on purpose, he just really doesn't think of doing more than a couple of things at once. It's a guy thing.
I'm just rambling now, but just trust me that you guys will work out some kind of system, it just takes time.
oh girl....the never-ending battle :( I TOTALLY understand!!! I've learned that no matter how much you "WANT them to WANT" to do things...they just don't get it. Honestly, they don't. They aren't trying to be rude or negligent, or lazy, but they don't realize (haven't figured out why not) that a little help goes a long way!! And I HATE asking, repeat HATE it!! However, if I really want him to do something specific most of the time, I just gotta ask. I don't do it often mind you (I am still hoping for the light bulb to go off when the cabinets are slamming from my frustration, even though i know it won't), but a girl's gotta do whatta girl's gotta do ;)
Hang in there chica!!
It has been a never ending battle with me and Jeff. I am constantly picking up towels on the floor, socks, toys that the kids play with, dirty dishes on the counter, wadded up reciepts on the counter.. it never ends.. and i talk to him about it all of the time. I don't think they thoroughly understand. He does help out with the kids alot on the weekends and at night but if he would only clean up after himself.. that would be nice.
i would have to say that the ONLY plus to deployments is that instead of what feels like 5 people to clean up after, I only have 2. You women are correct, it doesn't make it through their minds that we are balancing 3 or 4 things at a time, like moving the clothes from the washer to the dryer, as we gather dishes throughout the house to load, as we put things away ON OUR WAY to the laundry room, all while attempting to get things ready for bed while they sit on their rumpus. A lot of times Chad will come home and sit down with his computer and start up a mutual tv show that both of us are excited about watching and says, "hey, why don't you relax for a moment and come watch this with me"...as I reply, well, there's about 5 more things i need to do to make tomorrow morning just a little less miserable (like washing those miserable bottles so we have a full and clean rack of them to wake up to) before i can sit down and let my mind go numb to the tv show. just the difference between men and women i guess, but i agree, it does get rather frustrating sometimes! :) hang in there...we are obviously ALL in the same boat as you!! ha.
I was thinking about that quote the other day. It really is nice, when they want to help. :D
Ah, the delicate balance of 'expecting him to know' what to do and just breaking down and telling him what to do (like he's a kid). It can be tough at first, but I always remind myself that I would rather pick up his stinky socks than have no socks to pick up...
Post a Comment