day one of daycare.

I don't really want to write about the details of my kid's daycare, the staff, the toys, etc. Because I'm tired and that's boring.

I just want to write something out so I don't forget the moment.

I wasn't emotional when I left Vivian this morning. I had her on my mind all day, of course, but I wasn't sad or scared that something would happen to her. I am thankful we started a Mother's Day Out program when she was 3 months old to help me with that anxiety. I wanted her to have a good day and to be happy when I picked her up. I wanted her to be clean, rested, and have a full belly. I dealt with a little guilt here and there, the little devil on my back making agreements with me about leaving her, blah blah blah. But I didn't cry...

Until I picked her up.

I pulled into the parking lot around 4:30pm. Moms and Dads were getting out of their vehicles everywhere I looked. Most of them were wearing military uniforms. One woman in her blues because it's Monday, one Daddy in his BDUs. One mama pulling on her flight cap because rules regulate that she wears it when she's outdoors. It hit me then that we parents, all of us, no matter who you are, are all doing the best we can. It matters not if your child is in daycare, if he stays home with you all day, if she has a nanny, if she stays with family, if he goes to work with you, if she goes to daycare part-time. It doesn't matter because we all love our children. And you know what? They'll all be okay.

A mama and her son were walking out of the child care center while I was walking in. He was holding her hand. They were silent until he said, "I had a fun day at school today, Mommy!" She smiled at him and said, "I'm so glad!" It was reassuring!

It just made me happy to see that we all live different lifestyles. And that's OKAY. The guilt I wrestle with for being gone from my child for eight hours a day is nothing compared to how a military mama must feel when she gets orders announcing that she'll be deploying to Afghanistan for 6 months.

All of us are just doing the best we can. And no one has the right to tell us, or make us feel, any different.